Review: Workshop Assignment 3

For Partner:
Gloss
-Summary
-Most Important
-Structure
-Question to start

For Others:
-Some talking points to bring up in discussion

Sarah C
Alex Khan
Sam DeFrank
Nate Ferrari
Mark Duncan
Christopher Stoeffels
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Mark Duncan
Summary:
-Halo 3
-Experiences playing alone
-Community the developed from the game
-Specific features of the game that drew the writer to it
-Other people's experiences

Most Important:
-The personal experiences

Structure:
-Introduction
-What brought the writer to the game
-The specific aspects the writer likes
-The community that stemmed
-Other people's experiences

Question:
-Does the ending where the writer brings in other people's experience distance the reader from the writing since the main focus for the majority of the piece was on personal experience?
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Sarah C
-What is 11 O'clock
-Didn't realize that Killer Quest was a song in the show
-I like the approach to the song in both a personal and analytical manner
-Watch some of the continuity stuff like italicizing certain words in some places and not others or capitalization
-Maybe cool it with the adjective stacking at some parts "absolutely perfect" etc
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Alex Khan
-Well.....I plan on watching this show after I'm done studying for the MCAT. I would rather not have spoilers so I'll have to back out of this one.
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Sam DeFrank
-Good writing quality, shows that time was spent on the draft
-Love the depiction of Kendrick Lamar's piece, great visualization
-Chain gain?
-Most of the piece is an appreciation of the 2016 performance. It doesn't really fit with the title and what is implied with the opening and closing paragraphs. We see that there is a protest on why they didn't show, but the piece isn't about the current stance of the protest and all artist's opinions. It is about one instance that KL did. I think you either have to expand or change what is implied by the title and opening.
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Nate Ferrari
-Link the blog..
-Not sure where the piece is going at the start. You want to talk about the specific songs, but we don't find that out until we are already there.
-The song analysis puts some rock hard evidence, shows effort and passion
-Favorite line: "She is able to tell her story, but in a way that is so vivid, it becomes my story."
-All the claims are backed with evidence
-It's hard to imagine some of the songs because we have to read a description of a song, not really sure how this can be worked around. I wish I could hear the lyrics bits as I read the quotes, but trying to link to elsewhere for that would pull the reader out of it.
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Chris S
-Love how I could read this and not be spoiled about the movie, you do an excellent job introducing what you like and not ruining the plot arc at all. You work with the general over-arching themes. Absolutely fantastic and appreciated. I have not seen the movie since I've been studying, so my thanks.
-Does a good job with evidence for each claim
-Maybe a little work on transitions, the racial diversity part caught me off guard from the previous ideas
-Makes it seem like a casual blog with twitter images and the writer's opinions, felt fun and interactive to read. Seems like something I would read on my own time since it's not too serious and is lighthearted.
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Me
-Reason the Top 5 was good because the reasons are personal
-Coming to age story, but with different games makes it relatable

-Would've liked an introduction maybe?
-Introduction for sure (unless you do first sentence)
-Maybe conclusion with where we set Halo out of the
-Maybe explain stuff for the common people more

-Maybe some reference to games within each other?
-More of mementos
-Give some description of the games that let people picture stuff (keep it brief)

-Pokemon may need more about the game
-Halo needs more, more, more

-Call of Duty and League since there is a community in both, point out similarities maybe
-Thematic options to connect

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